Kidz Things

Bribery - how much is to much

2009-07-21T18:34:39+00:00

At the moment it seems to get our daughter to do anything we need to offer some form of reward (well really its a bribe).

It’s getting to a stage now that if we want our daughter to do anything, it comes down to bribery - usually chocolate of some sorts! To get her into the car seat - then out the car seat; into the bath - then out the bath; to eat her food; leave the park, staying in the trolley in the supermarkets etc etc!

Always thought you were supposed to reward good behaviour but it seems that more and more often its just to get her do do normal every day things!

Suppose my question is - is this normal, does everyone do the same? Think she may just be super clever and know exactly how to play her mum and dad....

Thanks
AD

The Naughty Chair - it was just a temporary fix…

2009-03-20T10:25:59+00:00

Well, after my initial euphoria at finding a discipline technique that seemed to be controlling my little demon’s behaviour, the naughty chair (NC) doesn’t seem to be having the desired effect any more. In fact, Mic thinks it’s a bit of a joke to go on the NC now. She even asks to sit on the NC when she is behaving badly - or if I threaten to put her on the NC in the hope that it will stop her naughty behaviour, she tells me that she wants to sit on the NC, so she continues doing whatever evil act she is doing until I follow through with my NC threat! Then she gloats at me for the duration of her time-out! Aaaaarrrggghhhhhh!!!!

So I feel pretty powerless to control her tantrums at the moment. And using the words ‘no’ and ‘don’t’ seem to encourage her to keep doing whatever she is doing even more enthusiastically - usually with a knowing little smirk from her before she continues! No matter how much I try to explain why I don’t want her to do something, she doesn’t seem to listen to a word. How did I end up with such a difficult toddler? I realise that it must somehow stem from my behaviour because where else would she learn to be so defiant, but I can’t think what I have done to make her act the way she does. I know it’s a ‘terrible two’s’ thing for her to have tantrums and not want to comply with anything I ask her to do, but I honestly feel somedays like hitting my head against a brick wall would be less painful than spending the day with her! I know that sounds really mean of me, but I am just so tired of fighting with a two year old over every aspect of our daily routine - she doesn’t want to do anything unless it was her decision in the first place to do it. So getting dressed, doing teeth, eating, leaving the house, getting in the car seat or buggy, bathing, going to bed - it is all a battle, mostly with her winning! How ridiculous it that - my toddler gets to make more decisions about what we do during the day than I do?!

Anyhow, yesterday I ordered a book through Amazon called ”1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12”. It was recommended to my husband by a friend of his who had similar problems with their son when he was younger. Hopefully it will be able to give me some good advice - I will let you know once I’ve read it whether it is helpful or not!

xxx

Too young for the naughty step

2008-10-18T12:52:08+00:00

I love watching Supernanny and will definitely try using the naughty step/corner/chair (or whatever suits us at the time) as a discipline technique when my daughter is old enough to understand what I am asking her to do, but she’s 22 months now and too young for it. I am finding it so hard to discipline her because she’s old enough to be extremely naughty and know that she’s doing something she shouldn’t be, but not old enough to understand when I am explaining why it is wrong or naughty and that she mustn’t do it again. Does anyone have any good techniques for disciplining a toddler under two years old?

Naughty step, here I come!!!!

2009-01-15T16:01:35+00:00

Ok, so it’s actually become the ‘naughty chair’ but I’m doing the technique a la Jo Frost aka Supernanny and it’s working....kinda...ish. My daughter turned two a few weeks ago it was literally like her tantrums and ‘naughty’ behaviour stepped up a gear from that day onwards. I found that just telling her ‘no’ and explaining why it was naughty wasn’t enough of a deterrant - in fact she would blatantly repeat the behaviour immediately after a talking-to in a what-you-gonna-do-about-it kind of way! One day I’d had enough of telling her off for the same bad behaviour over and over again and I appointed the closest chair as THE NAUGHTY CHAIR and explained to her that she was going to sit on it for two minutes while she thought about what she had done and she was not to move until I told her to. Amazingly, she did actually stay on the chair for the full two minutes (Supernanny says to do a minute per year of their age). After the two minutes, I explained why she was there and asked for an apology. This was where things got a bit difficult - she refused to apologise! I left her for another couple of minutes then repeated the speech and asked for an apology - “no” was the response. Believe it or not, this actually went on for about an hour. I was really tempted to just let her get off the chair but then I thought I’d be showing her that actually she doesn’t have to apologise for bad behaviour if she doesn’t want to. Recently I have been using the technique more successfully (except for a couple of days ago when when I asked her if she wanted to go on the naughty chair and she replied in a Vicky Pollardesque tone ‘yea’). The nice thing about using a chair as oppose to a step or mat is that is doesn’t matter where you are, you can usually find a chair to designate as ‘the naughty chair’ for the little terror to do her time. I do think it has been helping and her behaviour has been noticeably better after a stint on the naughty chair so I will persevere with the technique! I mentioned it to my father last night and he referred to it as the ‘electric chair’ - hmmm, don’t give me ideas.....